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The Unofficial 2015 UNC-Duke Drinking Game

Posted on Feb 18, 2015 by

If you’ve watched more than one Carolina game this year (and if you’re reading this, I suspect you’ve probably watched most of them), you know that ESPN, as well as other broadcasters, seemingly have a list of topics they bring to each game. The ability to predict what the commentators will talk about next makes the game almost comical.

If JP Tokoto dunks, they’re going to talk about his athleticism and his ability to pass the ball and defend.

If Kennedy Meeks makes a

nice play, they’re probably going to talk about all the weight he lost in the offseason.

If Marcus Paige hits his first three of the game, we’re going to hear about preseason expectations, injuries, and how he is averaging just under 14 ppg.

We’ve become so conditioned to this litany of talking points that it doesn’t even phase us anymore. Which is part of the reason why I decided to create this challenge. I don’t intend for it to be for the faint of heart or the weak of liver. Dick Vitale won’t be on the call tonight, so might not result in a power hour, but I have faith that this will do the trick for most.

Take a sip if…

  • If JP Tokoto’s “athleticism” is mentioned
  • Every time JP dunks
  • Marcus Paige hits a 3 pointer
  • Jay Bilas or Dan Shulman mispronounce or struggle with the words “Plantar Fasciitis”
  • Kennedy Meeks and “weight loss” are used in the same sentence
  • Brice Johnson or Isaiah Hicks dunks
  • Nate Britt’s change in shooting hand is mentioned
  • Jahlil Okafor being mentioned as a probable Top-5 pick in the NBA Draft
  • Coach K’s 1000 wins are mentioned
  • Tyus Jones or Quin Cook hits a 3
  • Marshall Plumlee picks up a foul
  • Kentucky is somehow slipped into the broadcast
  • Cameron Crazies are talked about in a flattering way
  • Any highlight of a UNC rivalry win

Take 2 sips if…

  • Brice Johnson is called for an illegal screen
  • Justin Jackson gets an “And 1”
  • Joel Berry, Justin Jackson or Nate Britt hit a 3
  • “Academic scandal” is mentioned
  • UVA is slipped into the broadcast
  • Duke’s loss to Miami or NC State is mentioned
  • Duke mentioned as a potential 1-seed
  • ACC is mentioned as “top conference”
  • Cameron is mentioned as the best college basketball stadium in the NCAA
  • UNC injuries are mentioned–Theo Pinson, Desmond Hubert, etc.
  • Any highlight of a Duke rivalry win

Take 3 sips if…

  • A player from either team fouls out
  • Rasheed Sulaimon is mentioned
  • Mercer or Lehigh are metioned
  • Sasha Seymore is mentioned as a Morehead and/or Mitchell Scholar
  • Roy throws something/exasperatedly drops to the ground
  • Angry camera shot of Coach K
  • UNC and Duke target Harry Giles is mentioned in the broadcast
  • Any UNC player that’s not Paige/Britt/Jackson/Berry hits a 3

Finish your drink if…

  • At the end of each half
  • Dick Vitale makes a surprise appearance
  • The Cameron Crazies are mentioned in a negative way

Take a shot if…

  • UNC wins

Let’s hope the game turns out well for us tonight. If you need a spot to watch the game, consider 1789 Venture Lab–Thrill City will be providing some free beverages…

Image via TabSprint (and clearly He’s Not Here)

Michael Hardison  —  Contributor

Affiliations: UNC Memes

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